As I was having my quiet time today, I was reading Psalm 62-64. The Psalms have been such a source of encouragement and strength for me as I’ve been learning to walk this new path.
Psalm 63:6-7 were the verses that caught my eye and imagination today. Verse 6 and part of 7 says, “When I remember You on my bed, I meditate on You in the night watches. Because You have been my help.” The two words that specifically stood out to me, are “when” and “remember”. David is saying I must take time to sit, SO THAT I can “remember”. If I don’t take the time to “remember”, then I get caught up in the fears that are all around me threatening to take me under.
I had a friend make a comment the other day that my life had taken a 180 degree turn. It’s true, but I added, “and jumped tracks”. I feel like not only did my life go in a complete opposite way from what I had ever imagined it could possibly go, but I feel as though I’m on a completely different train, in a different land and nothing looks familiar. It’s hard not being afraid, feeling discontent, not complaining, not feeling sorry for myself/my children, etc. And, yet, I MUST take the time to sit and “remember”.
Verse 7 is what really stuck out to me though!! It says, “Therefore in the shadow of Your wings I will rejoice. My soul follows close behind You; Your right hand upholds me.”
My first thought was, “how wonderful that He hides me under His wings.” This causes me to rejoice. But the next line caused my thinking to change. It says, “my soul follows close behind.” Ummm…what!?!?! I had never considered something like that, and yet, often, this is how I feel. I know He is there, but feel like I have jumped out of an airplane and I’m in freefall. Maybe, according to this verse, I have? “But, Lord, You know I’m afraid of heights!”
It made me think of geese and how they fly in a v-formation. When I looked it up, here’s what it said:
“First, it conserves their energy. Each bird flies slightly above the bird in front of him, resulting in a reduction of wind resistance. The birds take turns being in the front, falling back when they get tired. In this way, the geese can fly for a long time before they must stop for rest. The second benefit to the V formation is that it is easy to keep track of every bird in the group. Flying in formation may assist with the communication and coordination within the group. Fighter pilots often use this formation for the same reason.”
If I apply this to the verse above, here’s what I see. I see Jesus flying slightly above me, allowing me to not get so worn out. He’s taking the “hit” for me. Unlike geese, Jesus never needs to take a break and let someone or something else take His place. I’m not the only one in this v-formation. Anyone who is His child, is in this formation. And, He knows where we all are! Nothing has escaped His careful watch.
Verse 7 ends with “Your right hand upholds me”. I find the prospect of skydiving terrifying!! I would never choose to do it! So, even though I know Jesus is with me, I still find the freefall/ unknown of this life terrifying at times. But, when I ponder reasons why I would ever choose to “skydive”, the thought is less terrifying. Like, what if the plane was going to crash or was on fire. Now the prospect of skydiving seems less scary and rather like being saved.
Or, as I consider what it would feel like to be carried high by a bird, far above the land my feet so desperately desire to stand firmly on, again it leaves my head spinning. But, what if the place I’m in has me trapped by a fire or I’m drowning and need rescued. Now, the prospect of being rescued and carried above all the chaos and threat to my life leaves me begging for it… “Here I am Jesus! Over here! Rescue me!”
His Word reminds me this morning, that He is with me. He may have me flying high in a terrifying place but He has not lost sight of me. He will not let me fall, as His “right hand upholds me”. And, as I am learning to “fly”, I am gaining strength and can go for longer periods of time without needing a “rest”. Jesus and I are learning to fly together and as the Psalmist says in verse 3-5, “Your lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise You, thus I will bless You while I live; I will lift up my hands in Your name. My soul shall be satisified as with marrow and fatness, and my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.”